You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
