S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.�
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
