im gay
i know
yea but for you.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
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