i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Randomize
