when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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