where does the pee come out of this thing
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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