That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I think i got beer on your cat.
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