Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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