im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
