the condom got lost in my hair
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
