you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
