I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
My brain says no but my pants say off.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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