3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Quick, to the slutcave!
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
