i just sent this text using only my big toe
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
