You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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