so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
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