I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
NoShamevember. You game?
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
