I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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