Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
ugly people sure do ruin things
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
