you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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