let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Randomize
