Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
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