Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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