Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
