did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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