i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
