did you get engaged???
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
