They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
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