yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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