Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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