Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
