Welp...herpes.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Randomize
