He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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