It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
