I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
