i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
