Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize