when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Bring me that man meat
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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