I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
i believe in u and ur pee
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
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