You made me cry and you don't even care
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
