just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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