oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
