We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Randomize
