3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
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