me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
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