remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
