Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
