Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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