A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
He felt like a one man threesome
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
