her vagine was all disorganized.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Randomize
