I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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