We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Lo siento on account of my penis...
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
