don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Dignity is for republicans.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Randomize
