Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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