Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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