you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
