the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
