she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
