Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Randomize
