i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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